Funny/Entertaining/Crazy/Simply All-Around-Worth-Telling-About-Things

I thought you Americans would be interested in this very entertaining page from the Lidel (a grocery store here) advertisement, listing all the exciting products you can find in their “American section” Take a look:

Mmmmhhhh cookie dough of strawberry cheese! (?)

Apparently they think since we eat lots of McDonald's hamburgers we also eat mini gummy burgers (I don't even think these exist in the states...)

Who the heck eats caramel popcorn yogurt?? Or chocolate muffin yogurt?? I know we like our desserts, but this just goes too far.

Of course they have to include peanut butter.. but, I wonder to myself what "crunchy of smoothie" tastes like.

The American way of life: giant popcorn bin and hamburger sauce.

Speaking of American food, I finally decided to introduce the Koch family to some American specialties, so I made a bunch of pancakes a few weeks ago, using a German recipe, of all things, because I needed the measurements in grams. They still turned out quite tasty, although not as fluffy as the American ones. I did use buttermilk tho! And we ate them with the real maple syrup I bought with me from Vermont, so that made them even more closer to authenticity. Anyway, Jonas fell in love with them, and when they were asked to bring in a dessert for a party they were having at school, he told his teachers about my pancakes, and they were so excited to try pancakes made by a “real” American that they made him promise to bring them in that day. So, I had to make pancakes for an entire class of 7 year olds! I always get a little nervous when cooking for people, but for this I wasn’t too worried, because honestly I knew the kids would eat them no matter what they tasted like..they were pancakes and that's all that mattered! He brought them in the next day with the maple syrup, and he reported that they were a huge hit and the first food to be gone:) It was also the first time many of the kids tasted maple syrup. He told me one of his friends tasted a tiny bit and then gagged, saying it tasted like honey that went bad...oh well, guess its not for everyone! At least he brought jam in as well (the European condiment for pancakes) so everyone was happy.

It's funny how interested people are here in American happenings. I guess I find it so strange because the majority of Americans have no idea what is going on in the other parts of the world, like who the other countries leader's are or what is going on with the Euro crisis. But whenever people figure out I am American, they immediately ask me if I voted for Obama, and what I think about the election and how I think it will turn out.. Then they start talking about it and I realize they know even more about it than me..or probably even more than the average American! They followed every step of the election, asking me for example, “Do you think Obama will get Virginia?” And so on... Even my taxi driver asked me who I voted for! When I told him Obama, he turned and faced me (while driving) with a big grin across his face and gave me a high five. If the taxi drivers in Brussels get so excited about American politics, its pretty sad that still only a little over half of the American population votes...

Talking to non-native English speakers has made me appreciate my mother-tongue a lot more, and has made me get to know it a lot better too. For example, I had to explain to Sebastian (a German who speaks English with a mix of German and Australian accent, whatyya know) the difference between the pronunciation of the word “muscle” and “muzzle.” I never thought about how similar those words sound, but how differently they are spelled. It is so interesting to get a peak at how my language seems to a non-native English speaker. Another example is when Niki was trying to speak English the other day (all he knows right now is “hello”, “dad”, “I love you” and “Who let the dogs out” (thanks to me teehee) Well he was asking me when “dad” was coming home, but he kept pronouncing it like “dead” and I was trying to explain to him that it is pronounced dahd not dehd I told him that “dead” means “tot” in German, and then he looked at me with a worried face and asked, “Dad is dead??” After that, it took a lot of calming down and deeper explanations... Oh the joy of learning another language :P

Sebastian also asked me about the phrase “awesome sauce.” He had heard it from an Australian friend, and could not understand why he put the words “awesome” and “sauce” together. For me, I just always accepted the phrase because the words awesome and sauce have similar sounds and they just go well together. But he was trying to make sense of the phrase. I had to explain that sometimes we just have weird phrases that make no sense, they just sound cool. Another one is, “My home skillet biscuit” (comes from homie...not sure what skillet biscuit has to do with it). It's hard for Germans to understand this because their phrases are always very practical and make perfect common sense. It may sound stereotypical, but it's true.

So now, some random short stories:

The type of vending machines you can find in a place can tell you a lot about its culture. In the US, we have soda, candy and chip dispensers everywhere. Here in Brussels, we have cigarette, chocolate and condom dispensers lined up on the streets... go figure.

Sometimes when it is just me and Felix at home, I'll blast the radio and we'll dance together. The other day, the song “Gangnam Style” (if you don't know it, it's the song I talked about in my recent post about the US Election party) came on, and immediately Felix smiled...for the first time all day! He started bobbin his head and pumping his arms in the air, no joke! You could tell he really felt the beat and the mood of the music... You never know. He could be the next Gangnam style back-up dancer!

Niki went on a class visit to the African Museum last week, and when we asked him about it at dinner that night, the first thing that came out of his mouth was, “Alle Menschen in Afrika sind nackt.” (All people in Africa are naked). Oh Niki, what will be do with you? He explained that all the models in the museum where naked, so they all must be naked in Africa too. We tried to explain that that was a very long time ago, before they could receive clothes form other countries or learned how to make their own. He just didn’t get it though. Childhood innocence...sometimes so sweet but other times it just makes you appreciate being old and knowing things:)

Another funny thing about Niki...I've figured out over my time here that Niki is quite girly. He actually told me and Sylvia the other day that he wants to be a girl. He loves glitter (he pleaded with me to buy him a sparkly pink chapstick, which I was trying to tell him was only for girl, but he insisted so I finally got it for him) and he loves to try on my jewelry. He talks about how his favorite color is pink.. At first I was a little confused about the whole thing, but now I've realized he is only 5, he is still learning a lot and what does it matter if he likes girly things? So, I just go with it now:) The other day we had a nail polish party and I painted his nails blue and green and then sprayed them with sparkles...he was so excited, it was hilarious. He then asked me to put eye make-up on him. I went all out, with eyeshadow, sparkles and blue eyeliner. I can tell Sylvia is a little bit uncomfortable about the whole thing...just a little tho!

Niki showing off his freshly painted nails:) (no idea why he decided to wear a lady bug costume, but I wasn't going to stop him...)

Eye make-up by me!!

I started my new French classes last week. The class has about 12 people in it, the youngest being 10 years older than me... But I was warned of this so it didn't come as much of a surprise. Many people go to the language schools because their jobs in Brussels require it, or they need it to get a job. In Brussels, if you work in a store or restaurant, you are required to be able to speak both French and Flemish, and knowing English is also a plus. So, many foreigners who come to Brussels from French speaking countries like the Congo take Flemish classes, while people who come from Asia, eastern Europe or England to work for the EU are required to learn French by their companies, even if the company's language of communication is English. Anyway, in my class, there are women from Taiwan, China, Korea, Russia, Hungary, Bulgaria and men from Iran, Serbia and Italy. I am the only native English speaker, and probably the only American in the whole school (I have yet to meet a single American anywhere...even at these Expats party I have been going to. I've never felt so far away from home before...the great thing though is that I am like a celebrity here. As soon as the word “American” pops out of my mouth, the person's face lights up and its like they were talking to Brittney Spears or something and didn't realize it until that moment. Anyway, I sit squished at my tiny desk in-between a 30 year old crazy Iranian guy with a black beard and long black hair pulled into a pony tail, who always makes vulgar jokes about our teacher. The other day, he told her she had a very sexy tattoo on her back (he saw it when she was bending down while writing something on the board, and of course had to point it out to me as well...) and a 42 year old Serbian man who can barley speak English, let alone French. The other day, I was trying to explain a French phrase to him in English. His face showed that he was trying to concentrate real hard on what I was saying. Finally, he burst out, “Wait, slow down! I can't understand you! It sounds like you are singing!” He said that my accent is so strong and I speak so quickly and string the words in such a way that he is not used to that he cannot understand a word I am saying. He is only used to speaking English with other non-native English speakers. He told me that when two non-native English speakers talk, they understand each other perfectly because they make the same grammar mistakes and pronounce words slowly. I just find this so interesting!

Speaking of languages, I now find myself texting in three different languages every single day. So, I've set up my phone so I just have to press one button on my keyboard, and I can switch the auto-correct from English to German to French. It just amazes me how much I use it! I text in German with my host family, English with the other au pairs, and French with some of my Belgian friends! Only in Brussels would you find yourself having to do this.... :)

I met a Belgian guy at a cool underground party I went to over the weekend (it was in this giant hidden cave with old brick arches and walls, all lit up with LEDS...so cool) Anyway, we got talking, and of course once I told him I was American, he had to make some kind of comment about Americans. What I liked about this guy was that he was honest about his opinion of my nationality. The normal reaction I get from people here is, “OH, your American? From where? New York! I love New York! I love Americans, they are so outgoing and friendly!” Well this guy had a different opinion. I don't know how we got on the topic of fries, but he said (while gazing into the air, leaning against the bar, kind of thinking to himself out loud), “Americans are so ignorant. That is why they call them french fries. Some American probably just traveled to Europe and then went home and said to themselves, “Oh, I went to somewhere in Europe around France and ate those fries there and they were quite good...so I think I'll call them French fries” This guy was just so annoyed that Belgians don't get credit for their fries...

Anyway, that same night I also talked to an Italian guy, a guy from the Congo, an Indian guy (who gave me a free massage at the massage tent), lots of Belgian guys, and a German. Only at a Brussels party can that happen!! Every time I go to a party here, I end up coming home with a bunch of random business cards in my purse. Sometimes I don't remember how they got there, but just out of curiosity I will look up the names on facebook and see if I recognize the person's face from the night before. It's just the way they exchange information here...business cards, all the time. I already have a growing stack of cards on my desk in my room. And sometimes, you will meet people who will give you their business card, and they will have the most surprising, un-fitting job. For example, I once met this goth looking creepy guy at a “dark electro” concert who was taking ecstasy and going crazy. He gave me his card (I have no idea why I accepted it..) but when I looked at it the next day, it was for a very high class, fancy candle making company....

I feel like a real European now...I rode my bike to a Jason Mraz concert last night! The concert arena is just a 10 minute ride from my house. I was a little nervous about riding my bike in the dark late at night, but the cars are very cautious when driving with bikers. Everyone bikes here, so the cars know to look out for them, unlike in the states where you are surprised to see someone on a bike. It was a nice ride, very hilly, but I got a great view of downtown Brussels all lit up:) I also got to try a Boudin after the concert, which is basically a Belgian sausage, eaten in a giant piece of baguette and roasted onions on top, and dripping with sauce andalouse, which is a famous sauce here that everyone eats on everything...on Durum, fries, hamburgers... Basically, it is ketchup, mayo and pepper all mixed together, giving a kind of orange colored slightly spicy sauce. Here is me enjoying my Boudin in an empty, dark parking lot with only the company of my bike... (don't worry, I have friends..they had just already left because it was so late. I was starving tho, so I had to eat something before I attacked the hilly bike ride home).

Interesting Belgian facts I have learned over the past 3 months:

1.) Belgium has over 900 types of beers... 900!!!! I'm sorry, but that is just crazy. And the even crazier thing is that they are all high quality, good tasting beers. Now that just makes America look really sad in comparison...with probably one tenth of that amount, and not a single beer that can even come close to the quality of Belgian beer. I've been told by a number of people that when I come back to the US, I wont be able to drink American beer... Guess I should maybe re-think my plan of joining a sorority in college...

2.) There are two different kinds of waffles you can find in Brussels, the Brussels Waffle, which has a thin, yeast-leavened batter which makes them lighter and their appearance is more rectangular with deeper holes and smooth edges. 

The other is the Liege Waffle, (named after a town in Eastern Belgium) which is made with a batter that is more like bread dough; thick and sticky. The dough contains chunks of sugar, which caramelize and form a crispy, crunchy, golden coating. The dough is spread/pushed into the waffle maker and the end result is uneven edges and a more dense, sweeter, and chewier waffle. 

Ironically enough, the Brussels Waffle is actually more difficult to find in Brussels than the Liege. All the waffle trucks (they look exactly like American ice cream trucks, but sell only waffles!) that go around the city sell Liege waffles. I think this is because they are more dense, filling and sweeter, which is what the tourists like. I like them a lot too, but I find they are a bit too filling. The Brussels Waffles is great when you are not too hungry, but just want a little sweet snack to hold you over. They are also light enough to eat with ice cream!

3.) Chocolate is too damn expensive at the shops here! If you ever come to Brussels, buy your chocolate in the grocery store. You can find real good, organic Belgian brands of chocolate, all different flavors, for way cheaper. But are you still craving some of those chocolate truffles or pralines? Then go to the Neuhaus (big Belgian chocolate maker) factory just outside the city, where you can taste every single one of there truffles, squares, pralines and caramels for FREE! You are welcome to buy some too, but not obliged;)

Interesting Belgian French facts I've learned:

1.) Belgians count using “septante” (seventy) and “nonante” (nighty) instead of the complicated French way of saying seventy like “sixty and ten” and nighty like “4 twenty and 10.” Belgians just makes everything so much simpler!

2.) In Belgium, we call lunch “diner” and dinner “suppe”, as opposed to the French, who call lunch “dejeuner” and dinner “diner”... Maybe Belgians just like to eat soup for dinner? No idea...

3.) I learned 6 different words for rain today in French, each one specifically for a particular type of rain. If you don’t use the right word to describe the rain that day, people give you funny looks here. Belgians know their rain!!

4.) One of the ladies in my modern dance class struck up a conversation in French with me yesterday. I hadn't spoken a word in the class yet, except my name... I have just been too embarrassed of my French! Anyway, she asked me what language I spoke and when I told her English, she immediately started talking about how difficult she finds English, especially to speak it because “people speak so quickly!” She said she loves the language and thinks it sounds “beautiful and smooth.” At first I thought I misunderstood her, and that she was talking about French... But nope, she really was talking about English. I had never heard of anyone thinking English was “beautiful and smooth.” I told her that I thought French was just that, not English! She disagreed, saying French is very guttural and harsh... I guess that goes for some words, or maybe if you are talking with a chain smoker from Paris...but otherwise I always thought French was the language of beauty and romance.. It was just so interesting to hear a different opinion about my mother-tongue!